Fighting Dirty Part 2

Okay now I’m going into techniques.  As I mentioned in the previous fighting dirty post, these are kind of nasty.  You’ve been warned.

To start with, forget about punching.  Your hand is good for much more.  It’s best to avoid an attack, by not walking alone or in dangerous places.  It’s better to have a gun or aim a kick.  But I’m going to talk about what to do in the worst case.  If you end up close enough to their body that you are in striking distance with your arm, throw an open palm to their face, with your thumb to the side and your pointer finger slightly bent.  They will think a punch or strike is coming, but your real aim is to get your fingernails near or in their eye socket.  My Krav Maga instructor explained it thus:

“Have you ever had an eyelash in your eye?  It is hard to think of anything else.  Now imagine it’s a finger.”

Good point.  Don’t just launch and withdraw your hand, you throw it like a punch and the second you are close enough you go for that eye.  If he’s on top of you or fiddling with your clothing, try to get in his eyes.  Even if they are closed if you keep scratching and pushing you are likely to hurt him.  Other great places to scratch are the inside of the nostrils if you can hook one, or the side of the cheek.  No one really thinks about these places but they should because they are places that are extremely sensitive but also aren’t typically expected.  He things you are going to be scared, lying with your eyes closed, praying not to die.  HECK NO you are going to be digging in his eye like there’s buried treasure in there!  Surprise!

Now here is a trigger warning.  If you have been a victim of sexual assault, this may be sensitive and cause ptsd symptoms, so you are free to leave if that seems unsafe.  But please come back when you can handle it because this is stuff I feel should be understood.

If he is sexually assaulting you, and all else has failed: you have no weapon, you didn’t get the eye, etc, it’s time to realize this is a fight for your life.  You have to assume someone who will rape you can and may kill you.  Don’t assume if you lie there he will let you live.  That is playing roulette.  Also if you know a rape victim, you know the effects are lasting and very, very ugly, and soul deep.

The other thing to realize, is that if he plans to sexually assault you, at some point this conceited monster is going to present you with his genitalia.  That’s right, this man is so sure of his power over you he is going to bring out the most vulnerable part of his body.  And this empowers you.  Some men will even go for an oral assault.  Really? You are going to put that near my teeth?  We’ve all heard the stories of rapist carrying their balls back to the police station to be reattached, or if you hadn’t, you have now.  Something to think about.

“But Peach”, you say,”I don’t want to bite a —–“.

I know.  And no one says you have to.  But as a damsel in defense I’m just suggesting last ditch efforts at fighting.  And I have heard of less violent ways to deter a rapist.  Like peeing yourself, or feigning mental disability.  But in my opinion the ol’ “grip it and rip it” method is something everyone should think of before hand.  Get your hands on it and don’t let go.  Bite, scratch, tear.  Twist.  Yank.  Be creative.  Some women will argue that they could be beaten or killed.  But I’m reminded of the rape that happened in Utah where the woman was completely compliant and thought she would be let go, but instead was dragged into the bushes, raped, and then had a football sized rock dropped on her head in an attempt to finish her off.  This broke my heart.

In the end it’s your choice.  Check out this website as it has some good explanation on “grip it and rip it”.

I’ll have more posts up about specific defenses soon but I need to figure out a way to have pictures to help explain.

So think about it, take care, and stay safe.


Hey guys, this is a really awesome and informative blog.  It’s written by the incredible instructor I had for my concealed carry class that spurred me to start this blog.  He’s another one of those special people who just wants to help people stay safe.  He covers a lot of issues with concealed carry, but also has specific tips for general defense, like pet safety, winter safety, and mace concerns.  I really recommend you follow his site, and if you are lucky enough to take one of his seminars, tell him I sent you.

Oh come ON

Really, the Provo river trail AGAIN?!

Okay friends.  I’m so very glad this woman fought, and got away with minimal scratches and bruises.  But let’s remember, there are just certain unsafe places, and places where a violent rape occurred in the last year are probably in that category.

So let’s take this story as a reminder that there is nothing important enough to risk your safety walking alone in an unsafe place.  Yes it’s more inconvenient to grab a friend or a guy friend.  But being with someone makes you less of a target to start with.  If an offender is looking for a victim, will he choose the girl with someone when he could choose one that’s alone?  If every girl commits to being the one who’s not alone, attackers will have a much harder job.  That’s always a goal to work for.

And also, kudos to this woman for putting up a fight.  I can’t draw too many conclusions because obviously it’s a different attacker and a different kind of assault from the one that occurred on the trail earlier this year.  But I was told that in one case the victim tried to comply, and she was raped, and nearly killed.  In this case, and one about a month ago in another part of Provo, the victims fought and escaped mostly unharmed.  It’s time to start looking at connections and deciding which you will be.

I want you all to know I don’t blame the women who do suffer assault.  Who knows every situation and how we would all behave.  I just want us all to keep thinking critically about survival.

Take care,


Girls Should Fight Dirty

Lots of men, when they find out I’ve been practicing martial arts and self defense, like to ask me to punch them.

“Come on, punch me as hard as you can.”  And they point to their arm.

What th-…really?  Who on earth trains to punch someone in the arm?  This is usually a misguided attempt to prove that I’m a little girl who is ineffective even with training, and to impress me with what a tough guy they must be.

Here’s the thing, I’ve boxed, I know how to fight with my fists, how to properly wrap my hands and go at a bag for an hour.  I also know that for a woman, a punch is not even close to the most effective way to fight.

Men have rules about how to fight with honor.  We don’t need to follow those rules because a man attacking us has already been proven to have no such honor, and since he’ll probably be bigger, stronger and faster, we have to be tricky if we want to win.

Sure sure, with a lot of training and a very fit body I can probably disable an opponent with no training even if he’s male.  But I’m just saying that even if I have training, there’s no guarantee I’m not going to come up against someone else with the same level of training, who’s taller and stronger and a man.  What then?

This brings me to what happens when a man invites me to punch him on the arm.  I usually respond with something like, “I don’t think punching is effective.  Even so, I could probably really injure you, and it seems like a lose-lose situation for me to try to injure your body while you try to injure my pride.  I’ve been in real fights, and I don’t enjoy hurting people.  But if you fight me understand that I fight extremely dirty, and with the intent to maim.  Not to play.”

And it’s true.  I trained in Krav Maga in California.  It’s the Israeli Defense system.  They train women in a very different way from other martial arts.  Instead of partnering with another woman, I was told that women weren’t what I needed to know how to defend myself against.  So I was paired with a 300 pound male instructor, and we grappled in awkward and frightening positions.  And it gave me more confidence than any amount of other self defense training.

Now ladies, I’m about to get icky and get into some pretty graphic details on what I mean by fighting dirty.  If you are easily offended think carefully before going further.  However I strongly believe that it is better to face the icky things now, than have ickier things happen to us later because we didn’t consider them.  So continue on to part 2 if you want to hear a few examples of dirty techniques.




Your Own Knight in Shining Armor

We all know the fairy tale.  How it’s supposed to happen.  Since we were old enough to be plunked in front of a television we’ve known that women don’t save themselves; they are saved by a prince.

I see the effect of this mindset all around me.  Women jogging at night alone in an area where there was a recent rape, women who won’t carry mace or learn self defense or learn about guns because either:

A: It won’t happen to me, or

B: Someone will save me, obviously

If you want to believe in a fairy tale, that’s fine.  But this blog is about being a damsel in defense, not a damsel in distress.  Daydream all you want about the day your prince rides up on his horse to wake you, or the day your bad boy hero beats up a gang of thugs, or the day you are rescued by the pirate king.  But please ladies, I’m begging you, don’t let that interfere with your responsibility to keep yourself safe.

The rescue fantasy is pervasive and popular, look at the Twilight series for example.  There’s no sex in the first three, but women adore them.  Why? Because Edward ALWAYS saves her.  In fact, he uses his mind reading abilities and his super human strength to do this.

Ladies this should be a wake-up call.  Normal men do not read minds.  Normal men are human.  Even if you have one that cares about you and loves you, how is he going to always be there?

“Okay”, you say, “you have a good point, I don’t expect to be rescued magically”.  Then I ask, do you know any self defense?  Have you explored your self defense weapon options?

“No”, you may say, “nothing like that will happen to me”.

If you are one of the lucky few in this world who has not been a victim and does not know other victims, you should be all the more motivated to keep it that way.  Don’t bank on being lucky.  Assume your time will come.  Are you going to be ready?

This blog is about women deciding to be their own knight in shining armor.  This is about women in my generation deciding not to be victims.  We don’t have to be men, we don’t have to hate men.  We have to consider ways to fight as women, because we aren’t as physically strong (sorry, it’s just the truth, in most cases, we are smaller and weaker).  We have to think of ugly scenarios and plan for the worst, because we are more likely to be targets of particularly disgusting forms of attack.  We have to get real and put the fantasy aside.

So I’ll be talking about female considerations for self-defense, martial arts, concealed carry and anything else in the defense world.  Lucky for us most of the activities that make us safer are a lot of fun, not to mention the security of knowing that you’ve done all you can to be safe.  And then if you want to LET a guy save you, go ahead.



Women and Concealed Carry

Concealed carry class is not about being a killer, or being a gun-nut.  It’s about protection.  Even so as a fairly defense minded individual I waited far too long to go take the class.  Until a couple of days ago, I agreed with people’s right to concealed carry, but I thought since I wasn’t sure I could take a life, I shouldn’t bother carrying a gun.

Then Sheriff Richard Mack come to talk at my school.  I didn’t agree with everything he said.  But one thing he said stood out to me:  “One armed citizen could have had a chance at stopping the Virginia massacre”.  Woah, my willingness to be armed could save innocent lives?  Well that was it, I signed up that night and took the course three days later.

And. I. Loved. It.

I’ve shot handguns before.  It’s a lot of fun.  But I didn’t know sitting on a couch learning about guns could be so entertaining.  I know so much more than I did yet still know so little.  I recommend everyone take the course.  Not only is it extremely inexpensive for the amount of instruction you get, but it is a lot of fun.

You may be a person who will never carry or even willingly touch a gun.  I still recommend this course.  What would you do if you needed to make sure a gun was unloaded?  Do you know how to tell?  How to remove a clip?  Do you know all the parts of a gun?  How to hold one if you needed to?  Do you know laws about using force, even unarmed force, in your state?

Women don’t think about protection as much as men do, in my experience.  Good men I have known have innate desires to protect, and it’s a theme that is commonly explored in media.  However women are protective too, in a very different way.  Ever seen a mama bear?  This is why the comment Sheriff Mack made about Virginia Tech affected me.  When I picture someone I care about at the mercy of an armed gunman, my opinion of my ability to use a gun changes drastically.  I imagine it’s the same for a mother picturing her child in danger, but women in general seem to be compassionate towards those in need, and some often care more about safety of others above their own.

The people who want to hurt people already have their guns.  I believe it is our responsibility to ask ourselves if more good hearted, sound minded people shouldn’t explore concealed carry to balance the scales.  And we need at the very least to be educated even about the things we fear or hate most.  I’m not asking you to be pro-gun.  I’m asking you to be pro-thought, and pro-open, and to make sure you are checking all of your options and not letting prejudice or gentleness get in the way of considering all the ways to stay safe in this world.

Thanks for reading,